Dedication to Gaia
TygerMoon Foxx, formerly Allegra Brillante aka Francine M Wolfe-Johnson
day, I woke up late and barely had time to shower and dress before dashing out
the door. As I stood on the porch,
oblivious to the sunrise or the wind sighing through the trees, I felt the
presence of Gaia. She appeared to
me ample and smiling, her great hips swaying in a rhythm I used to know but
could no longer quite hear. I
recognized for the first time in months the joy and beauty held in all the
She stood in front of
me, bosom quaking in indignation, and demanded, “Daughter, so you love me?”
I answered hastily,
“Of course, Mother! You are that which provides me sustenance and gives
The she asked, “And
if I had made you imperfectly, unsound of leg or limb or organ, would you still
Perplexed, I glanced
down at my perfectly sounds arms and legs and at the rest of my body, which in
spite of my best efforts remained nearly as ample as Her own.
I thought of all the things I wouldn’t be able to do without those
limbs and considered them against the perceived cruelty of being given a body
more plentiful than modern society allowed.
I realized I had taken for granted the things that I could do with this
otherwise healthy and perfect body.
And I answered, “You
did make my body imperfectly and I have suffered among the once-borns for it.
Yet it is not as unsound or imperfect as others I have seen.
I am grateful for what I have been given, Mother, and I still love
Then Gaia said, “If
you were blind, would you still love my creations?”
How could I love
something without being able to see it? Then
I thought of all the blind people in the world and of one friend in particular
whose observations of Gaia’s works went far deeper than my own.
I remembered a time when blindness was considered a gift from the gods
and a mark of their favor. How did
all these people see creation without actually seeing it? As I considered this, the veil fell away from my inner sight
and I recognized that one did not need to see in order to view creation.
So I answered, “Gaia
when the physical vision is taken away, the inner vision remains.
It is this inner vision through which so many of your other children
experience your Creation. I can do
that too; I feel the energies around me. I
could love your creations, Mother, even if I could not see them. It is the inner appearance that counts, not the outer.”
Gaia smiled and looked
as though she thought she was finally accomplishing something with this errant
and wayward child of hers. “And
if you were deaf? Could you still
Oh, She was being so
difficult today! I would be late
for work if she continued much longer. Yet,
unwillingly, like a flower seed dropped in a crack in the pavement, her question
found a place to root in the mind I had thought infertile.
How could I hear the wind’s songs or the bird’s calls if I were deaf?
Then I understood. Gaia and
her creations were not a mere matter of listening with ears; one also had to
listen wit the heart.
I answered, “I depend
too much upon my ears and not enough on my heart.
It would be difficult, but if I were deaf I would have to let my heart
guide me. I think I would still hear you, Mother.”
She smiled in
satisfaction and asked yet another question: “And if you were mute?
How would you praise creation and communicate with Me?”
What, not sing in
circle with my fellow pagans? No
invocation to the Lord and Lady? No call to the elements?
How could I communicate if I’d no tongue to do it with?
Then it occurred to me: songs can be sung from the heart and soul without
sound; it is this language that Gaia understands best.
And praising Her is not always done with song but with actions.
I responded humbly,
“I would want my actions to speak in ways that my tongue could not.
I could still communicate with you.”
And Gaia demanded one
final time, “Do you really love me?”
With the conviction
that I had missed the purpose of this lesson, I responded with what assurance I
could, “Yes, Mother!” I love
You because You have given me these gifts and shown me their value.”
Gaia shifted her ample
hips laden with creation, gestured to the full breasts with blunt hands
calloused from efforts to plant and sow. “Then
why are you ashamed of me? Why do you not use the gifts I have given you?
Why do you not live every day enjoying the multitude of creation I have
put into your care?”
Tearfully I replied,
“Others do not see the value of the gifts you have given me.
They look only at my body and say I am a fright or a disgrace.”
“And this body is so
bad? It is strong and free of
defect and it could do great things if only its owner willed it so.
I made you in my own image, child. If
you do not love yourself, how can you possibly say you love me?”
I did not answer this
time, having no answer to give that would serve.
“You are blessed with
life. I did not make you to throw
this gift away. I have blessed you with talents that you may ten Me but you
continue to turn away. I have
revealed my word to you, but your ears were closed.
I have shown my blessings to you but your eyes were blind.
I have granted you my creatures to take care of but you have ignored
them. Yet I have heard your voice
and I have answered your questions. Do
you truly love me, child?”
I could not answer.
How could I? I was mortified
beyond belief. Gaia had shown me
nothing but bounty and love and I had allowed the opinions of a few once-borns
to soil it with their ignorance. I
had no excuse. What could I say to
Her, the gracious Lady who had given me her own form with which to utilize those
I cried out, “Why
have You continued to listen to me? Why
do You love me so when I could not return that love upon myself or You?”
Gaia wrapped her arms
around me and answered:
“Because you are My
creation, you are My child, I could never abandon you.
When you cry, I will have compassion and cry with you.
When you shout with joy, I will laugh with you.
When you are down, I will encourage you. When you fall, I will cushion your blow.
When you are tired, I will cradle you in my arms as you sleep.
You are a child of Gaia and as such you will love and be loved.”
leaving me with a mind full of new thoughts and a heart open to the ways of the
world once more. I munched thoughtfully on an apple and noticed how beautiful
the sunrise was.
© 1997 by Allegra