Idle Thoughts - 8/26/00

By Aengus Og 

I had a vision the other day. Although for many this is something that occurs all the time, this was the first time that I had one that was so clear and vivid. I have all my life been aware of seeing things that were just outside my vision. Whether when I tried to look at it would just go away, or was just a fleeting glance of something that I could not make out. Since starting in the craft, however, I have been being taught how to focus, how to control what power I have. In other words learning how to see.


My vision was one that came about through practicing alpha meditation for class. When I finally achieved that state it was so amazing, to be able to step outside my body and see and feel all new things. To visualize a rock and then feel the rough grainy texture, to reach out with my hand and feel the vibrations coming from the energy of that stone, to walk around in and view it from top to bottom, to actually smell the dust and grains that was associated with it.


After practicing with the rock, I was too happy to come out of meditation that soon, my freedom in this state was amazing. As I looked around it seemed as if I was soaring around the clouds. When I saw something off in the distance I just knew that I had to go inspect and see what it was. I was not ready for what happened next. As I got closer to the vision, I was aware that it was a funeral. The person that was being mourned was someone that was very loved. The incredible sadness that was coming from this scene overwhelmed my senses. As I sat with my feet planted on the ground, tears started streaming down my face. My entire soul was overcome with the feeling. It was more than I could take, I rushed back to my body and came out of meditation as quickly as I could without harm.


The next day I decided that the only way to learn how to handle this emotion and learn to control was to confront it head on. So I revisited the place I was at the day before. I could see the crowd that had gathered on the outside as there was no room on the inside. I could see the faces and the expressions on their face, I could feel the incredible sadness that was present, yes the tears started on me again, put this time I was determined to face the emotion. The vision on the inside was more strained, I could not make out face or feelings as clear, just the amount of sadness was overwhelming. There was no talking on the inside only focus on what was taking place and the emotion of the moment. There was no way I could see any more as the real tears were causing me to loose focus in my vision as well.


I returned and came up but this time was more pleased that I could face my troubles and emotions and come out ahead.